We do it for fun, but we do it without intimacy, which takes away the fun: that’s the Catch-22 of casual sex. But it doesn’t have to be bad. When you do it right, casual sex can be amazing. It can even change your life.
Archives for September 2015
As a bisexual woman, I often look at other women’s dating profiles and I’ve noticed a common problem: they’re afraid to take risks.
These women — who are probably intelligent, quirky, and full of character when you meet them in person — come across as boring nice girls online. Their hearts shout the lyrics to Lady Gaga’s Born This Way, but their dating profiles mumble “I’m a Plain Jane, please don’t pay attention to me.”
What’s the key to awe-inspiring relationships? You could say it’s caring, communication, or even compromise. But none of those things can happen without a connection. Connection is the starting point for every single one of the bonds in your life.
When building connections, all of us struggle with two opposing forces. The first is vulnerability: the state of revealing yourself to others. When you reveal something personal about yourself, even something small, you’re showing a piece of who you are. This creates an opportunity for connection. However, the drive for self-revelation is always fighting against shame. Shame is the fear that if others saw your inner self, they would respond with rejection. Shame is the enemy of vulnerability, and it’s shame that blocks you from being loved for who you truly are.